It seems like just yesterday I was planning for my first baby. I was overjoyed. After so many miscarriages, God sent me a word. God told me that I would have a son and this son would be a mighty man of God, like Jacob in the Bible. Like Jacob, this son would wrestle with God and I would call him Jacob.
I didn't want to be disappointed. I so didn't want to trust God. I only told one other person about this word from God. Then I waited.
No sonogram would give up the secret of what this baby would be.....so I didn't know.
You were a true surprise.
You came a month early and there were complications. I was told I needed an emergency C-section. I have never been so scared in all my life. Part of me, didn't want to give birth to you because I wanted everything to be o.k. I wanted everything to stay the same, just as it was....with you beside me. But you wanted to get on with life, so you were born. When the doctor said, "It's a boy." The thought ran through my head...."I know."
There was never a discussion of what your name would be.
You are Jacob.
The nursing staff kept pushing me for a middle name. I didn't know they were rushing because they didn't expect you to live. I kept asking for you to be brought to me but no one would. No one would tell me why I couldn't hold you or feed you.
I remember the first time I saw you. You were so small and helpless. It was overwhelming.
When the doctor's decided to medivac you to Wilford Hall in San Antonio, I was calm. I was o.k. until we started running past other people in the hall and they looked at you with such sadness. Your lifeless body with tubes and wires going everywhere, a machine breathing for you.
God plans everything for a reason. This little word about you before you were born gave me peace and hope. I knew, that I knew, that I knew you would survive. I don't know why I trusted and believed. I had nothing else but God. As I watched you wrestle with God, I prayed that you would be changed to live a life for Christ.
My son, my dear sweet son, every year on your birthday I have told you the story "of you". This year, as you turn 18, will be the first year I will not be by your side. I will not have the honor of planning your party or beating your friends at air hockey....(hahahaha). This year, you need to get on with life and I have never been so scared. I have to let you go and trust God. Many other parents before me have faced this same situation. But you are my first. You know how I feel about you. But, just in case you forgot...I'll tell you again.
Jacob, you are a mighty man of God. You have such wisdom. I admire your strength and convictions. I love you with all my heart. I am so, so proud of you! You mean so much to me and your family. There is a huge hole in my heart because I don't get to see your face every day. But, there is such pleasure in knowing you are a Godly man. I know, that I know, that I know God holds you in the palm of His hand. He is by your side even though I can't walk with you. So, thank you son. Thank you for being part of my life. Thank you for being my son. Now, to your shock, a larger part of the world knows how much I love you.
There is a song that I have not been able to hear since you left in June. Today, I listened to it and cried. I cry because I miss you. I cry because I'm proud of you. I cry because I'm a silly mom.
Mom And Dad by Jason Upton
Mom and Dad take a look at me
On my bike riding both hands free
And I'm all right...It's a good night
Bigger now then I've ever been
Training wheels got no need for them
Mom I'm growing - Dad I've got to get going
We are not the same -Everyday
We are changing
Another season fades
But that's ok - cause we are changing- anyway
Mom and Dad look who's holdin' me
Someone I get to love and dream with
on cold nights through the hard times
Sending out to the great unknown
How to sit on their perfect home
Mom we won't fight - Dad the winds right
We are not the same -Everyday
We are changing
Another season fades
But that's ok - cause we are changing anyway
Mom and Dad the kids sure grow fast
the more they grow up the more I ask
What am I doing? I hope it doesn't ruin 'em
Ways are worth more then costly gems
I'm diggin' up my past to remember them
Mom I love you - Dad there's nobody like you
We are not the same -Every day
We are changing
Another season fades
But that's ok - cause we are changing anyway
Another generation comes along and says,
Mom and Dad take a look at me
On my bike riding both hands free
And I'm all right...It's a good night
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Fastest Growing Industry
One of the world's fastest growing industries, involves over 2.4 million people. This industry is the buying and selling of men, women and children of all nations. I have become more aware of the spread of this problem and am sharing this with you to help get the word out.
* TRAFFICKING IS…to be taken against your will, bought, sold and transported into slavery for sexual exploitation, sweat shops, child brides, circuses, sacrificial worship, forced begging, sale of human organs, farm labour, domestic servitude.
* TRAFFICKING IS…where family members and friends deceive parents to release their children or sell them for as little as $20 each, selling them on to local gangmasters or serious organised international trafficking rings.
* TRAFFICKING IS…growing. 2–4 MILLION men, women and children are trafficked across borders and within their own country every year. More than one person is trafficked across borders EVERY MINUTE, which is equivalent to five jumbo jets every day. a trade that earns twice as much worldwide revenue as Coca Cola.
* TRAFFICKING IS…where victims usually suffer repeated physical abuse, fear, torture and threats to families to break their spirits and turn them into saleable commodities. a person can be sold and trafficked many times.
To find out more or how you can help, go to....
http://www.stopthetraffik.org/
* TRAFFICKING IS…to be taken against your will, bought, sold and transported into slavery for sexual exploitation, sweat shops, child brides, circuses, sacrificial worship, forced begging, sale of human organs, farm labour, domestic servitude.
* TRAFFICKING IS…where family members and friends deceive parents to release their children or sell them for as little as $20 each, selling them on to local gangmasters or serious organised international trafficking rings.
* TRAFFICKING IS…growing. 2–4 MILLION men, women and children are trafficked across borders and within their own country every year. More than one person is trafficked across borders EVERY MINUTE, which is equivalent to five jumbo jets every day. a trade that earns twice as much worldwide revenue as Coca Cola.
* TRAFFICKING IS…where victims usually suffer repeated physical abuse, fear, torture and threats to families to break their spirits and turn them into saleable commodities. a person can be sold and trafficked many times.
To find out more or how you can help, go to....
http://www.stopthetraffik.org/
Monday, October 20, 2008
People That I Meet
Walking everywhere has given me the opportunity to encounter local characters. When I don't see them at their usual stations I miss them. When I do see them, I feel like everything is right with the world. Strange how little things make a place seem like "home".
One thing I have noticed about this area, people seem to talk to themselves a lot! No, they aren't on a cell phone, they are truly talking to themselves. I saw one such man today. Going to a doctor's appointment, I passed a man that was having a rather heated conversation with himself. He was speaking in a low, muttering voice and had a very serious look on his face. I really had to double check that he wasn't on a phone. Interesting. I thought, maybe it's just me....maybe I am the only person who runs across these people. However, I was with a group of friends and someone else brought this up. I started laughing because it's just nice to know that I'm not imagining this.
On warm days, there is an older lady who sits by herself outside a coffee shop. She is the kind of person I want to be. She wears some of the neatest outfits. The first time I saw her, she was wearing a bright pink hat with flowers, a pink blouse, purple-ish skirt and pink rain boots. She tends to wear bright pink....but occasionally changes to purple. The coolest thing she wore....pink rain boots with purple dots! No, it wasn't raining....and there was not a cloud in the sky.
By far, the greatest person I've gotten accustom to seeing is "Thieves Man". This man is tall and always wears a faded green army jacket. His hair reminds me of Kramer on Seinfeld.
The first time I saw "Thieves Man", Christian and I were waiting for Skip outside a shop. It was a bright Sunday afternoon and I was just looking around, watching people. I see this man..."TM" walking and talking with an older gentleman. The older gentleman walked with a cane and just shuffled along. He didn't really look like he was listening to or even with "TM". "Thieves Man" was talking rather loudly and barely watching where he was going. As they approached me, I could hear "TM" saying...."There are thieves about! Thieves!!!! AND they are talking my money. There are thieves about!!!!" He kept saying this over and over. I thought, o.k.....don't look directly into his eyes and you'll be safe.
I began looking in a shop window trying to keep one eye on "TM" but trying to look away. Then "it" happened.
I looked up and "TM" was looking directly at me. Our eyes met......
Suddenly, "TM" became MORE excited and began to rant, "There are thieves about!!!! There are thieves and they have children!!! There are thieves about and they have children and they are stealing from me!!!!"
I have never been so freaked out in my life.
Thieves Man went on about his way and when Skip came out I suggested we avoid going in the same general direction.
I have seen "TM" on other occasions and no, he still doesn't appear to be in my range of what I would call "normal". But, he seems to have friends...or maybe he just sits with people. I have seen him pacing back and forth at a bus stop. Yes, I was going to catch the bus at this same bus stop...but decided to keep walking.
Before I end this, I want to make something very clear......I know that Christian gets into things BUT neither Christian OR I have stolen anything from Thieves Man!!!!! hahahahahahaha
One thing I have noticed about this area, people seem to talk to themselves a lot! No, they aren't on a cell phone, they are truly talking to themselves. I saw one such man today. Going to a doctor's appointment, I passed a man that was having a rather heated conversation with himself. He was speaking in a low, muttering voice and had a very serious look on his face. I really had to double check that he wasn't on a phone. Interesting. I thought, maybe it's just me....maybe I am the only person who runs across these people. However, I was with a group of friends and someone else brought this up. I started laughing because it's just nice to know that I'm not imagining this.
On warm days, there is an older lady who sits by herself outside a coffee shop. She is the kind of person I want to be. She wears some of the neatest outfits. The first time I saw her, she was wearing a bright pink hat with flowers, a pink blouse, purple-ish skirt and pink rain boots. She tends to wear bright pink....but occasionally changes to purple. The coolest thing she wore....pink rain boots with purple dots! No, it wasn't raining....and there was not a cloud in the sky.
By far, the greatest person I've gotten accustom to seeing is "Thieves Man". This man is tall and always wears a faded green army jacket. His hair reminds me of Kramer on Seinfeld.
The first time I saw "Thieves Man", Christian and I were waiting for Skip outside a shop. It was a bright Sunday afternoon and I was just looking around, watching people. I see this man..."TM" walking and talking with an older gentleman. The older gentleman walked with a cane and just shuffled along. He didn't really look like he was listening to or even with "TM". "Thieves Man" was talking rather loudly and barely watching where he was going. As they approached me, I could hear "TM" saying...."There are thieves about! Thieves!!!! AND they are talking my money. There are thieves about!!!!" He kept saying this over and over. I thought, o.k.....don't look directly into his eyes and you'll be safe.
I began looking in a shop window trying to keep one eye on "TM" but trying to look away. Then "it" happened.
I looked up and "TM" was looking directly at me. Our eyes met......
Suddenly, "TM" became MORE excited and began to rant, "There are thieves about!!!! There are thieves and they have children!!! There are thieves about and they have children and they are stealing from me!!!!"
I have never been so freaked out in my life.
Thieves Man went on about his way and when Skip came out I suggested we avoid going in the same general direction.
I have seen "TM" on other occasions and no, he still doesn't appear to be in my range of what I would call "normal". But, he seems to have friends...or maybe he just sits with people. I have seen him pacing back and forth at a bus stop. Yes, I was going to catch the bus at this same bus stop...but decided to keep walking.
Before I end this, I want to make something very clear......I know that Christian gets into things BUT neither Christian OR I have stolen anything from Thieves Man!!!!! hahahahahahaha
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